The Sense of Me
by ikuzonos
Summary: Tenko Chabashira was a legend, a master of Aikido, and someone to be feared. Tenko Yukimura was a scared little girl that nobody looked at twice. (NDRV3, Child Abuse, no romantic relationships)


Your fingers are bleeding.

It's not unusual, you weren't careful when you picked up the broken glass. Three band aids will do the trick, one for each sliver.

Once you're all cleaned up, it's time to grab the broom and dustpan. Then you can get all the little pieces of amber coloured glass that you can't pick up. If you're lucky, you can finish before he comes home.

(You're not lucky, though. You've never been been lucky. He comes home in the middle of your clean up job and you go to bed that night with two new bruises on your face.)

* * *

School is the same as ever. You don't talk to anyone, and everyone ignores you. It is the way of things. Nobody pays attention to you, and it's better this way.

It's safer to keep it all buried, to pretend that you're a massive klutz who trips over your own shoelaces. Tenko Yukimura does not exist in the mind of anyone, and it's easier like this.

You do your work in silence, even though you're confused as all hell. You should ask for help, but you can't bring yourself to speak.

You fail the math test.

(That's okay though, you don't deserve to do well. You're not important enough to succeed. That's what he tells you, and he is always right.)

* * *

The house gleams when he arrives home. He hardly pays attention, he's already drunk. Every demand is slurred.

You still have to be quick, though. Otherwise he yanks on your braids, and hisses whisky filled threats. You'll do whatever he says, even if it's just to avoid that.

Right before you go to sleep that night, he comes into your room, and sits down on your bed. He kisses you gently on the forehead, and whispers that he loves you very much.

 _He's not so bad._

That thought carries you through the night, as you toss and turn on the lumpy mattress, under the rattiest towel in the house.

* * *

The nurse cleans up the scratch on your arm. You've already fabricated a story about tripping onto a sharp piece of concrete.

After that, you return to class, crisp clean bandages wrapped tightly in place. A few of the kids whisper, and a couple here and there point at you.

You keep your head down low, and grip your pencil so hard that your knuckles turn white.

(It's okay. You're okay, and they'll never know what goes on at home, you're just the klutz just the klutz just the klutz!)

* * *

 _He loves me,_ you think as you cook him dinner, and serve him while he never looks away from the television screen.

 _He loves me,_ you think as you wash the dishes and clean up after him.

 _He loves me,_ you think as he stumbles through the hall, and you hide behind the door, praying that he won't see you.

 _He loves me,_ you think as you toss and turn, fearing for your life every time you hear a creak come from the hallway.

 _(He loves me he loves me he loves me helovesmehelovesmehelovesmehelovesmelovesmelovesmememe)_

Your face is still sore in the morning.

* * *

You think the boys calling you names are your classmates, but you have no idea. You don't really care either, you just want them to shut up.

They begin to close in, still shouting cruel words, until you finally snap, and kick one of them in the stomach. He stumbles backwards into his friend, who glares at you with unbridled fury.

You punch and kick and _scream_ , as you try to fight the rest of them off. But four to one was unfair from the start, and you only get out alive because a teacher was lucky enough to stumble across the mess.

"Awful boys…" you whisper.

* * *

The nurse's office smells like antiseptic. As he cleans up your bruises and scrapes, he tells you not to get into any more fights, after all, what would your mother say?

You look him dead in the eyes, and tell him that your mother is dead.

(You do not go to class that day.)

(You do not go home that night.)

* * *

It is dark under the bridge.

You fend people off with the broken bottle you found on the side of the road. It reminds you of home, but it's better than nothing. Strangers move along when you brandish the sharp edges.

You hardly get any sleep. It's not safe for you to do so anyways. Still, the dirt under your clothes is softer than your mattress back at home ever was.

When dawn comes, you leave your spot, carrying only your bottle. You have to get as far away as possible from everyone you know.

The river water tastes like oil and sulphur, but you have no other choice besides dying of dehydration. The glass pokes at your lips and cheeks as you take a sip out of the broken bottle.

Once your mouth is wet, you continue onwards. Nobody looks your way.

(You're okay you're okay you're okay)

* * *

"Are you okay?"

You've been staying in public parks, because nobody looks twice at a little girl who is sitting under a tree. This woman is the first person to approach you since you ran away.

You shove the bottle in her face, hoping she'll take the hint and leave you alone.

Instead, she drops to her knees, "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

You eye her suspiciously.

She says, "My name is Rei, Rei Chabashira. Are you okay, sweetie? Are you lost?"

"N-No…" you murmur, as tears roll down your face.

Rei reaches out to dry your tears, then stops and withdraws her hand as she sees you tense. Instead, she says, "Can you tell me your name?"

You hesitate. What if this woman is going to take you back? But her sad smile seems so genuine, and your throat feels tight.

"Tenko Yukimura…" you say quietly.

Rei smiles, "Hi, Tenko-chan. Can you tell me why you're here? Did you lose someone?"

You shake your head, "D-Don't take Tenko back. Tenko doesn't want to s-see him again."

Rei bites her lip, then silently makes a decision. She says, "If you don't want to go back, then do you want to come with me? You look like you haven't eaten in awhile."

Your stomach grumbles as if on cue.

Nobody has ever been this nice to you before. You shouldn't trust Rei, it must be a trap, she's either going to murder you or bring you back and you don't really know which option is worse.

(Your legs betray you as you get to your feet.)

* * *

Rei's house is nice.

She feeds you teriyaki trout and rice, and it tastes better than anything you've ever eaten in your entire life. While you eat, Rei talks about nothing in particular, but you like that.

You like _her._

You can barely remember your mother, but she reminds you of her.

After you finish, Rei asks, "Would you like to stay here? My grandmother also lives here, I take care of her."

You shouldn't trust her, your brain screams, but instead you open your mouth and say, "I'd love to."

* * *

Summer comes, and you grow. One morning, you realize you're taller than Rei now. You've always been taller than Suzume, her elderly grandmother, but this feels strange.

You like it, though. You like it in their house, helping Suzume with the garden, Rei with the cooking, and being able to sleep and eat when you like.

Rei teaches you Aikido in the mornings, as a defence technique, 'but also for inner peace.' Aikido is fun. It makes you feel powerful.

(You could throw him across the room with one move.)

You go back to school under the name Tenko Chabashira, having integrated yourself so deeply into their life. For once in your life, you manage to do _well._

Rei says she is proud of you. Nobody has ever been proud of you before.

You love her, and you love Suzume, and you love everything about your life now. You can fend off every awful boy that comes near you, you are finally the strongest.

(And he will never find you, not six cities over. Maybe you're luckier than you thought.)


End file.
